Anthony Bourdain has been an outspoken advocate for survivors of sexual harassment and assault since The New York Times broke a damning story on Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein's horrific history preying on women in the entertainment industry.
The Parts Unknown host tweeted out a photo of the three women (Sciorra can be seen in the background) to commemorate the evening, complete with the caption, "It was an honor to cook for this meeting of the minds."
While the food was undoubtedly amaze(Bourdain talking about the perfect burger is almost enough to make me a full-fledged carnivore again), what's even more incredible is that these inspirational women continue to support one another during what has to be a difficult time. I'll take feminism and a commitment to dismantling rape culture over a five-star meal any time, anywhere.
After all, there are so many things we can all do to give survivors the support they need. Preparing a meal and offering a safe space for conversation are just two small things. Others include telling survivors you believe them and that they are worthy of love. Just the simplest gestures can make a world of difference after a traumatic encounter.
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
There are women who giggle or feel offended when their eyebrow threader asks if they’d like their upper lip done. And there are women who lean back, poke their tongue into the area without prompt and try to continue the conversation minus the use of their mouth. This week, we’re getting real about facial and body hair on Refinery29. It will be an education for some, a group hug for others.
I hadn’t realised quite how hardline I’d been in my approach to this week of content until several blondes on the editorial team, who'd contributed to the 'How Much Time & Money We Spend On Hair Removal A Year ' article, emailed me to apologise for the fact that they didn't have much hair, and weren't sure what to say. Because either you spent your teens locked in the bathroom dipping your face in a bucket of Jolen, or you didn’t. If you did, you and I have a lot to talk about – in fact we probably have a similar sense of humour and understanding of the world, having viewed it through a monobrow for the first half of our lives.
As I was commissioning writers for this project, I realised just how strong the bond between hairy women is, receiving replies from typically reserved journalists saying “YES YES YES – COUNT ME IN”, which turned into swapping funny stories about ‘excess’ hair, which turned into swapping less funny stories about ‘excess’ hair that shattered our confidence at school, which turned into all the features you’ll read this week about hair removal, body confidence, and that broken record of just being a woman subjected to centuries of the male gaze.
From the dating experiences of a Greek Cypriot girl with polycystic ovaries, to what hair removal is like for trans women, to all the shameful things people have said to women of colour about their body hair, to the inspiring women who embrace everything and feel great about it, we’re looking at hair from all angles this week, from our foreheads to our toes, our necks, our backs, our pussies, our cracks...
Unsurprisingly, women have a lot of funny stories to tell about body hair, but it can take a long time after the experience to form the joke. Editing these stories, I flinched at the pain of women who were bullied at school for having hair on their faces and their bodies, at how they were made to feel like a freak from as young as six, and at how those feelings lasted decades and still crop up when thinking about new relationships. I hope you feel as inspired by their courage in sharing these stories as I am.
One of the stories I swapped in the commissioning emails was that an ex-boyfriend texted me a few years ago saying, “Just wanted to let you know I’ve got a new girlfriend, she’s Thai and has a silky smooth hairless body…” As an Egyptian woman, I’m well acquainted with hair removal. My ancestors removed all of the hair on their bodies including from their head, leaving only eyebrows. Every time I visited Egypt as a teenager, my cousins and aunties would remove all the hair from my body (a ‘Hollywood’ wax is not a modern western phenomenon) – from my arms, legs, everywhere – using one big lump of sticky caramel that they would cook in the kitchen using sugar, water and salt. Although painful, we always had such a laugh doing it, a shared experience from generation to generation. The tiniest part of me wishes I’d grown up in Egypt for precisely that reason, where my face hair, body hair, and kinky head hair would have been totally normal, as opposed to something pointed out to me time and time again and laughed at by others – from boyfriends to my friends at primary school who nicknamed me ‘Loo Brush’ on account of my frizzy ponytail. True story.
These are the ‘real’ conversations about body hair we’re having this week on Refinery29. If you’re nodding emphatically at the screen, please join the conversation by commenting on the features and sharing your stories and pictures with #HotFuzz. Let's turn up the volume on this revolution.
When God was handing out hair, I was at the very front of the queue. I'm not talking thick, luscious, glossy hair on my head. Although that would be nice. But hair everywhere else: sideburns, a snail trail, a furry upper lip, the odd chin hair, downy fluff all over my arms, back and even my neck.
Growing up in a big Greek Cypriot family, I had always put my hairiness down to my heritage – we all looked the same and I was proud of that. But as soon as I started primary school, I realised my hair would be an issue.
“We don't want you in our group. You have a moustache and girls aren't supposed to have those.” At 8 years old, I didn't even know what a moustache was. When I got home, I asked my mum, who gave an understanding nod and bundled me off to the bathroom with a tub of Jolen bleach.
In five minutes, the jet black hairs on my upper lip were transformed into the fair, wispy, virtually undetectable hairs every other 8-year-old girl in my tiny village school in Essex had. It was a routine I'd have to keep up every fortnight for the rest of my life.
Then, a week before starting as a fresher at university, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) – a hormonal condition that affects 1 in 5 women in the UK. As well as weight gain, acne and irregular periods, one of the main symptoms is excess body hair, or hirsutism, as it's otherwise known. My hair suddenly got thicker, darker and started sprouting up in places I never even knew hair could grow, including the tops of my cheeks and my forehead.
The diagnosis meant I began to understand my body a little better, but it didn't make dealing with the hair any easier. Soon, I'd be expected to party in barely-there outfits, and sharing a minuscule bathroom with seven other people meant I couldn't spend hours removing my excess hair. But it was meeting men that instilled the worst anxiety in me.
While living at home with my parents, I had always worried about what dating guys would entail (besides endless questions from my dad); bringing them back was an even bigger no-no. University meant I had the freedom to get out there, I just didn't have the confidence. What man would want to date a woman that's hairier than him?
Instead of Jägerbombs, most of my student loan went on stockpiling Veet, razors and regular visits to Wales' one and only threading lady. When I finally met someone at the end of second year, I realised that keeping my excess hair from him would be no mean feat. Impromptu dates led to speedy shaves and inevitable sore rashes, ingrown hairs and pus-filled boils. I used to mix my body lotion with heavy-duty concealer and full-coverage foundation just to mask the bumpy redness, and only ever felt comfortable enough to have sex with the lights off.
He'd sometimes rock up at my house with a bunch of flowers, a DVD and pizza (the dream, right?) but I'd pretend I wasn't in after a wax earlier in the day had left me red and sore. I think my absolute hatred of baring my body contributed to the failure of our relationship – he didn't get it, and I was perpetually embarrassed. When it ended, I did what every other girl on the rebound does: accepted every party invite and downloaded every dating app.
When I'm on a date, it's all I can think about. What if I've missed a hair and it tickles him when we kiss? I hope I shaved my fingers in case he goes to hold my hand...
I desperately wanted things to be different this time around, but my hair – especially the hair on my face – was at the forefront of my mind at all times and I just couldn't let myself go like the rest of my single friends.
Yet again, I found myself sabotaging dates and even hookups because I was so utterly terrified and embarrassed of giving men a glimpse of my hair. Once, before sleeping with someone new, I snuck into the bathroom to shave my face so it wouldn't look horribly hairy in the morning – that's how fast my hair sprouts, thanks to PCOS – but accidentally cut myself. Half-covering the gash, I had to make an excuse and leave abruptly so that he didn't cotton on. I never heard from him again.
To cover the slight five-o’clock shadow on my upper lip and chin, I once applied four layers of foundation, only for it to transfer all over my date's pristine white shirt. And I threw away every single pair of ripped jeans I owned after one date made a comment about my stubbly knees. Even I couldn't believe I'd missed those!
Come to think of it, I’ve never agreed to go on a date in the daytime. It’s my worst nightmare to catch a guy I’m into analysing my face in the cold, natural light of day and worse still to have him comment on a few stray chin hairs I may have missed. Underground cocktail bars with dark and moody lighting are where I feel most comfortable – even then I’ll always wear my long hair down, like a comfort blanket.
Although I have learned to manage my facial and body hair a little better (more on that later), spontaneous dates are still out of the question. I need at least 24 hours to obliterate every single hair properly (in which time, some have already grown back) and if I'm going in for a wax, at least two days to let the redness subside. Don't even get me started on the painful stubble and shaving spots that spring up a few days later.
And when I'm actually on a date, it's all I can think about, no matter how many glasses of rosé I've downed. What if I've missed a hair and it tickles him when we kiss? I hope I shaved my fingers in case he goes to hold my hand...
I know, it’s absolutely absurd, but the idea of getting intimate with someone new instils a certain fear in me, and I'm convinced men have thought I'm just not interested and given up entirely. Instead of resorting to the “It's not you, it's me” line, it's so much easier to drop off the radar without an explanation. If my hair turns me off, I dread to think what it would do to them. In fact, I learned the hard way that honesty is most definitely not the best policy on my sixth date with a gorgeous, 6ft2, bearded police officer I'm pretty sure I may have fallen for – until he never returned my messages. When he asked why my arms were red and blotchy, I explained I'd had an IPL session to reduce the hair that morning and he recoiled in horror. "Your arms are that hairy? That's actually gross."
Yes, I'm completely and utterly obsessive about my hair but I know I'm not alone in hating and wanting rid of every single patch of it. No matter how much we talk about normalising facial and body hair on women, it's still something that many see as undesirable – taboo, even.
Sure, we've all seen pictures of celebrities and models making a statement and owning their armpit fuzz, or flashing their leg hair in ad campaigns, but a woman proudly showing off her hairy stomach or the ingrown hairs on her bikini line is unheard of.
Even in her 80s, my grandmother hoards those little magnifying mirrors so she can eliminate her facial hairs as soon as they spring up, and a friend recently admitted to sneaking off to the work toilets to pluck her chin hairs before important meetings with male bosses.
A beauty therapist friend of mine also recently revealed that clients apologise to her about their hair before whipping off their clothes for a wax. If they're saying sorry to someone who sees all types of hair day in, day out, how do they feel in front of new partners?
Skin specialists have also seen a huge rise in clients getting laser hair removal and IPL in a bid to be hair-free from top to bottom (quite literally). I'm in that boat. Instead of spending my money on holidays, clothes or making amazing memories on nights out with friends, I've been saving up for years to zap one body part at a time of every single pesky hair, starting with my face.
How I'm finally learning to manage my facial and body hair
IPL
After a course of laser hair removal didn't go well for me, I booked in for IPL – Intense Pulsed Light. The difference? Laser works on a very targeted wavelength but that of IPL is broader and harnesses a bright light that is attracted to the melanin in the hair follicle, subsequently damaging it.
After 12 sessions, I still have to deal with downy, vellus hairs along my upper lip, chin and cheeks, and while they are so much finer and lighter than before, it's still something I'm conscious of, especially when I'm makeup-free. But I've found that dry shaving (no, the hairs won't grow back thicker, that's a myth) now means I can date freely without having to worry about sneaking off to reapply my foundation or even cancelling beforehand.
At-home IPL devices
Letting my IPL specialist loose on my face was one thing, but having her zap my bits was another. To swerve the embarrassment (although I'm pretty certain beauty therapists have seen everything), I bought the Philips Lumea Prestige IPL Hair Removal Device For Body, Face, Bikini. At £399.99, the price will probably make your eyes water more than the actual ping of the device itself, but after one month of use, I noticed that the thick, jet black hairs on my bikini line and stomach were thinning out. I still have to shave, just not daily, and that makes it well worth the investment. Although having to contort yourself into weird positions to catch each hair is another story...
Getting my hormones in check
Polycystic ovaries can make hair growth feel like a never-ending battle, so it's worth booking an appointment with your GP. He or she may prescribe an oral contraceptive pill to block the male hormones that lead to excess hair growth, but I'd also suggest visiting a dermatologist.
Nasty hormonal breakouts recently led me to spironolactone, an oral pill that has made my skin clearer and significantly reduced my unwanted hair. “Spironolactone is a potassium-sparing diuretic that is licensed in the UK for treatment of blood pressure often in older patients with heart problems,” says Dr. Anjali Mahto, consultant dermatologist at Skin55. “Women with PCOS tend to have two distinct types of hair problems. They often suffer with excess facial or body hair (often in a similar pattern to men – known as hirsutism) but at the same time may notice shedding of scalp hair (often manifesting as thinning over the crown and temples).”
She adds: “Off-label, spironolactone can help with both types of hair problem. It can potentially improve both scalp hair growth and hirsutism. However, in this context it should only be prescribed by a consultant dermatologist with experience in its use as it is an off-label or unlicensed treatment.”
Trying to give less of a damn
This one is easier said than done, especially after everything I’ve just said, but as time goes on, I am starting to realise that I am so much more than my body hair, and that letting it rule my life is only holding me back. Not just from dating, but from jobs, holidays, crazy nights out with my friends and just generally living my life.
Half the time, no one is even close enough to see my stubbly bits, and it's important to bear in mind that most people's perceptions of your appearance are different from your own, anyway. Those who care enough about my body to comment? They aren’t worth it. Which makes me feel a little better when I'm sharing a Tube carriage with around 100 other people or initiating a conversation on Bumble.
In terms of casting in fashion, there isn't a hotter name than Madeleine Østlie right now. Starting out as a fashion buyer and stylist, a few years ago Østlie changed course slightly, setting up casting agency AAMO with close friend and collaborator, Adwoa Aboah. Fast-forward to now, and Østlie is recognised throughout the industry as being a key part of a new generation of casting directors who are passionately trying to diversify the face of fashion, thanks to her innate ability of street-casting refreshing, striking and varied young talent.
With that said, Østlie is just as accustomed to working with the biggest names in the business, casting for titles such as i-D and LOVE as well as working with everyone from Tim Walker, Alasdair McLellan and Juergen Teller, Charles Jeffrey and Marni, to Fenty x Puma and Marc Jacobs.
Madde invited us over to her east London home to talk us through a day in the life of a casting director and how she's trying to make the industry a safer, better place for models.
Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.
At what point did you realise you wanted to be a casting director? What inspired you to pursue it as a career? When I grew up I spent most of my time digging into my mum's wardrobe, trying everything on, making outfits and wearing her shoes. I knew I always wanted to be in fashion and have moved from buying, to styling to casting.
What does your average working day look like? It really depends as the work flow is very much peaks and troughs. In fashion weeks the days are long and intense for weeks on end, as we move from city to city doing shows. Normally, my working day begins the same way – get up a little later than I wanted to, clean the house (I'm kinda OCD) and light a scented candle. I like to ensure my work space is calm and serene, as sometimes my method of work can be a little chaotic. I'm often working on so many things at once – multitasking isn't even the word!
Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.
Are there any women in the fashion industry who have really inspired you? Who have been your mentors? Without a doubt Lulu Kennedy [founder of Fashion East] has been my best friend and mentor throughout. She gave me my first job, post leaving Topshop. She took me to my first fashion show, where I sat on her lap. It was the first breakthrough runway show by Meadham Kirchhoff when they had the carpets roll out. It was sublimely beautiful. She was also the one who recommended me to Katie Grand for street-casting for LOVE, and effectively Katie gave me my casting break as such. I admire both of them, and many more including my agent Camilla Lowther!
What would be your advice to those trying to break into fashion and casting? Work hard. Be kind. Be honest.
Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.
The fashion industry has evolved since you first started out. How have you adapted with those changes? Presumably social media has really changed the way you cast? Hugely impacted. Not only what the client wants in terms of demographic and that more and more people are looking to street-casting as an alternative on commercial campaigns for models, but also in terms of how images are used and shared. I grew with the changes, and therefore didn't need to adapt as such. But I definitely think this is where some people have been left behind.
Travelling constantly, how do you keep a semblance of a social life and normal routine? I have my normal life and routine when I'm in London, and if I have weeks without it I hugely crave it. Mostly I miss my gym, BLOK. My life is always sociable though. Thankfully that's an upside of the industry.
Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.
There has been a lot of discussion about the mistreatment of models, particularly spearheaded by James Scully and Cameron Russell. Is this something you're very aware of in the industry? How do you ensure you create a safe space for models? It's something I'm not only aware of but something that is obviously of great concern. I go out of my way to ensure that everyone I encounter – not just work with – everyone who comes for a casting or go-see are given my due care and attention and professionalism and positivity. Just being polite and treating models kindly and with respect, something that seems like a given but often in Paris castings, it's not. I try and go out of my way to help them when possible. Lots of them are good friends of mine and I am always here for them. I have very good relationships with agents and models alike because of this, and I ensure that everyone in my team does the same. It's the AAMO way.
What would be your dream casting job and why? Casting i-D, the whole issue with Tim Walker and getting to have afternoon tea with him three times a week was already my dream job. I am thankful for all the jobs I work on, and all the work relationships and friendships that I have. And I'm grateful for my AMAZING team – Billie (in previous years), Rhea, Laurença, Najia & Sarah.
Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.Photographed by Jonny Cochrane.
Who are your favourite people within the industry to collaborate with and why? There's no need for favouritism in this industry from me. People are favoured enough as it is.
The majority of us, at some point in our lives, have spent time and money removing hair from our bodies. From the moment you reached for your mum's razor when you first started to get leg hair, to the emergency wax you gave yourself before a last-minute date, to plucking that rogue yet bitterly persistent boob hair – for better and for worse, hair plays a part in women's lives.
Hillary Clinton recently revealed that she spent 600 hours (25 days) in hair and makeup during her 2016 presidential campaign. Even she was shocked at this discovery, expressing her disappointment at the sexist culture that judges a man on what he says and a woman on how she looks when she says it. To be fair, we bet Donald Trump spent around the same time fake-tanning and hair-coiffing – but in the wider context of gender roles, this double standard is infuriating. “I’m not jealous of my male colleagues often, but I am when it comes to how they can just shower, shave, put on a suit and be ready to go," Clinton wrote in her memoir What Happened. "The few times I’ve gone out in public without makeup, it’s made the news.”
Inspired by Hillary's admission, we decided to take stock of how much time (and money) we spend on hair removal each year by asking six women who work at Refinery29 to take us through their routines. Ranging from 40+ hours and over £1,000 a year for darker-haired women, to a mere three hours and the price of a razor for the natural blondes, prepare to feel shocked, angry at society's oppressive beauty standards, or, if you're one of the fair few, blessed!
Disclaimer: I'm privileged in that I have fair hair, so I could grow my body hair out for several months and the average passerby wouldn't spot the layer of fuzz keeping me warm. I'm lucky that hair removal tends not to be too painful for me, either.
Every four weeks I visit the brow geniuses at Bar Hair Ink near Old Street. They tint and thread my brows to perfection. It's £10 for threading and £10 for tinting.
I used to shave a few times a week but after some pretty (mental and physical) scarring battles with the razor, I've switched to epilating. This was a one-time buy of £120.99, which seems tiny in comparison to the money I spent on a constant rotation of sub-par razors. It's surprisingly not painful on my bikini line or legs, and I'll just do it once a month while watching Netflix. It lasts for a whole four weeks, which suits my CBA state of mind. On the underarms, however... let's just say my boyfriend came home to find me crying on the bathroom floor with half an armpit done. It takes stamina, a full stomach, and some painkillers to tackle, so I'll do it maybe once every two months.
Total £ spent on hair removal per year: £360.99 (including epilator)
Total time spent on hair removal per year: 12 hours
Lily, 30
Let's get the "normal" stuff out of the way first. I shave my legs and underarms every four days-ish which costs me about £10 in razors per year, £2.70 in plasters for cuts on my ankle and around five minutes per week, so 20 minutes per month.
I got my bikini line lasered, which cost £800 in total, but I still get some strays so I probably spend 10 minutes a month on top shaving those. The lasering took an hour every six weeks and I had eight sessions which took an hour in total, taking into account travel time.
I get my eyebrows and my upper lip threaded about every month which costs £25 each time and takes an hour when you factor in travel time. And again I spend about five minutes a week, so 20 minutes a month, just plucking extras because they're everywhere all the time. There's one extra-long one which comes out of my forehead, which takes about seven minutes to find every three months because it's blonde because I've likely already bleached it in my monthly face-bleaching session using Jolen, which costs £4.50 and takes 20 minutes a month.
I also epilate my forearms in the summer months, which takes about 15 minutes. The epilator cost £74.
Total £ spent on hair removal the year of laser: £1,200
The years after laser: £400
Total time spent on hair removal the year of laser: 38 hours
The years after laser: 30 hours
Annie, 32
I’m an extremely hairy person. I hit puberty early and was too scared to ask my mum for a razor so would trim my armpit hair using a pair of nail scissors. Once I started earning my own money, age 13 (thank god for paper rounds), I’d buy razors and shave, secretly, in the bath, painstakingly rinsing out the tub afterwards. I thought I was getting away with it until one day, my great auntie tutted in the direction of my obviously fuzz-free legs. At which my mum piped up: “Oh, Annie’s covered in dark hair, she has to do something about it.” (So much for secrecy, eh.) Nowadays, my legs and armpits are the places I care least about. In winter, I shave my armpits maybe once a week and my legs only if sex is on the cards (I know, bad feminist). While I’m at it, I’ll run the razor over my toes, too. Nice.
I get a Brazilian once a month at a salon round the corner from work, which costs £39 a go. I’ve paid a lot more, and a lot less; in my experience, you get what you pay for. I went through a phase of having everything off but then decided that was a bit weird and gross so now I have a triangle, which I find aesthetically quite pleasing. At my last appointment, the lady waxed my actual bum cheeks, so now I have that to worry about as well.
Then I spend probably five minutes every morning on a search and destroy mission to pluck rogue dark hairs from the rest of my body. This includes eyebrows (read: unibrow), chin (though inevitably I don’t find these until later, at my desk, leaving me in a panic for the rest of the day that everyone else can see them, too), my belly, my nipples and this one wiry motherfucker that appears every now and again just below my left breast. I also have two moles that sprout long, dark hairs, which I used to be nervous about plucking. But then I found out it’s totally fine! And now nowhere is safe from my tweezers.
Total £ spent on hair removal per year: £552
Total time spent on hair removal per year: 46 hours
Jess, 31
I'm not going to lie, I have it exceedingly easy when it comes to body hair. I've stayed very fair thus far (although my mother said that all changed for her once she started having kids) and my hair is very fine and light.
Because of this (and the fact that I'm lazy and have a long-term boyfriend, sorry boyfriend), I shave my legs and bikini line probably about once a week (one minute each) and usually nick my boyfriend's razor to do so. Occasionally I'll give in and buy some more heads for my Wilkinson Sword Intuition Razor but that probably happens about four times a year. They're about £7.50. I shave my armpits twice a week, which takes about a minute, if that.
If I go on holiday I will get my bikini line waxed, so that's about £30 for 15 minutes, twice a year.
When it comes to eyebrows, I haven't got the faintest clue what I'm doing. I've got about four hairs per eyebrow so to remove hair on a regular basis would be bananas. Instead, I wait until I catch myself in a mirror in a bright light and pull the few strays out with tweezers.
Total £ spent on hair removal per year: £90
Total time spent on hair removal per year: 3.7 hours
Rachel, 31
I shave my armpits 1-2 times a week, I should do more but no one wants to have sex with me at the moment so CBA. And I quite like it when they go fluffy.
I wax my full leg and high bikini line once a month which costs about £60, even though it grows back within about three days, and I know that I should get laser but I’ve been too lazy and the thought of the cost to do half of the surface of my body is very intimidating. Where would I start?
I get my eyebrows threaded every three weeks at the cost of £19 and my top lip every six weeks at the cost of £10.
I then have the problem of my weird hairs, of which I get many. Two thick, dark bristles that protrude from my chin / jawline once a month, which I am constantly in search of. Then there are the nipple hairs. Most soft and downy (but alarmingly long) and 2-4 that are dark and wiry and that sometimes like to burrow under my skin so I can and I have scarred myself in the process of picking these out with a needle and tweezers. I like to dig deep.
And then there are the many hours I spend pulling out the multitude of ingrown hairs that trace their way under my top layer of epidermis from ankle to bikini line. I would say an hour a month.
Total £ spent on hair removal per year: £1,008
Total time spent on hair removal per year: 25 hours and 20 minutes (without travel)
Jessica, 26
I plucked my eyebrows out as a teenager and now I don't have much to work with. No way am I plucking/waxing them again! I really wish I could grow them thick and bushy one day. I tend to not shave my legs and instead let them grow out, apart from in summer when I do like the feel of a smooth leg and also can't be arsed with how much my hairy legs draw attention in public. I'd like to get to a stage one day where I leave them hairy all year, but I'm probably not there yet.
I have my underarms grown out and I love it. I love how soft it feels and sexy it looks. My boyfriend misses the pits if I ever shave them. I trim them occasionally with a Babyliss bikini trimmer that I got years ago, similar to this one. Bikini? I've got the full bush (which I trim sometimes with the Babyliss trimmer). I sometimes wax my crack if I'm feeling especially saucy (although it makes my farts REALLY loud!?). I sometimes get my bikini line waxed before a holiday, but again for the appeasement of others rather than for me. So I want to try and go on holiday and embrace my 'bikini baccie' (as my cousin calls it) and let the pubes free.
Probably the most hair removal I do at the moment is plucking my nipple hair with tweezers. Bit painful but weirdly satisfying.
Total £ spent on hair removal: Bought the Babyliss razor many moons ago, so unless I get a wax, I spend nothing!
Total time spent on hair removal: 1 hour
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Almost 30 films and TV shows are sadly bowing out from 1st December. We'll be saying ta-ra for now to Cilla, the ITV miniseries chronicling Cilla Black's rise to fame; the 2006 superhero comedy My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson; and many more shows from ITV, including Lewis and The Only Way is Essex.
Later in the month we'll be biding adieu to Joseph Gordon-Levitt's crowdsourced variety show, Hit Record on TV with Joseph Gordon-Levitt(12th December), and The Tudors, the much lauded Jonathan Rhys Meyers-led series following the notorious Tudor monarch Henry VIII. Catch these shows and more before they're gone for good.
Titles leaving Netflix on the 1st of December:
10,000 B.C. (2015) Arthur & George (2015) Autopsy: The Last Hours Of... (2016) Benidorm (2016) Big Ballet (2014) Britain's Darkest Taboos (2016) Cilla (2014) Ella the Elephant(2013) Endeavour (2016) Grojband (2013) Hell's Kitchen (2015) Home Fires(2016) Jericho (2016) Lewis (2015) Limon and Oli (2013) Lucan (2013) Max Steel (2013) Midwinter of the Spirit (2015) Mrs Biggs (2012) My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) The Only Way Is Essex (2016) River Monsters(2011) Safe House (2015) This Is England (2015) The Trials of Jimmy Rose (2015) Tricked (2015) The Widower (2014) Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal (2012)
12th December:
Hit Record on TV with Joseph Gordon-Levitt (2015)
14th December:
Total Drama (2013)
15th December:
Dennis the Menace and Gnasher(2013) Empty (2008) The Irregular at Magic High School (2014) King Arthur's Disasters (2005) Pocoyo (2005) Rab C. Nesbitt (1999) Toby's Travelling Circus (2012) The Tudors (2010)
16th December:
Just Shoot Me(1997) Monster Math Squad(2012) Swift and Shift Couriers(2011)
It's been 30 years since author Naomi Wolf published The Beauty Myth, and it's safe to say the beauty industry has never been the same. Thanks, in part, to Wolf, feminists of the '90s had a cleared path to navigate through the fashion and lifestyle worlds to today, where calling out beauty standards is considered par for the course. And boy, it's about time. After a cameo in the world of politics with her support of Al Gore, and seven more books, Wolf is continuing to cultivate her voice as a commentator and feminist. For this week's UnStyled, the author sat down with Refinery29's co-founder and editor-in-chief Christene Barberich to talk about how her career has evolved, from then to now.
Throughout Wolf's line(s) of work, where she's continuously challenged outdated ideals that have been manufactured by men and put up against women, she's realised most of what she's encountered is more political than superficial. "It was so clear to me that no matter how much privilege, access, and empowerment my generation had at that time, we were not going to be empowered if we weren't slaved to this ideal of beauty that was so set up to make us fail, and specifically how thin the ideal was at that time...you really did have to starve yourself to fit it," she said. Since making that connection, she's remained committed to overturning policies that prevent equality between the sexes. And her voice is more important now than ever.
Every time women moved forward, there was a pushback from society.
Thankfully, Wolf's efforts haven't been undone. She acknowledges the progress made by young women in terms diversity and holding each other up, as well as their cognisance that there are still many beauty myths left to debunk. Wolf discusses this, the politics of social media — including what it means to be a woman of the web in the Trump era — and so much more on her podcast for UnStyled. Don't forget to subscribe for more, and listen closely as Wolf puts into words just how important it is to continue smashing the patriarchy.
In addition to beauty, you've also written a lot about pornography. Naomi Wolf: "Young women have created and absorbed a message that they're entitled to their own sexuality and pleasure, and these things are so closely linked. I don’t like the word 'objectification' when it's used in a very reductive way because feminism sometimes forgets that we are bodies and that beauty is a thing; in the end of the book, I tried to communicate this. There's nothing wrong with wanting to adorn yourself, or wanting to seduce, or feeling gorgeous — whatever that means."
What do you think of social media, in terms of opportunities and pitfalls? NW: "It could be a force that really enslaves women. When I first realised that women were kind of posing naked for followers, on Instagram, I really thought, 'Wow, this is kind of troubling because any young woman will have this temptation or expectation that she should show her body, and get that validation of more and more followers. I don't love it, but the internet is radically liberating to young women."
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If the news of the royal engagement hasn’t been enough to cheer you up on this chilly, dreary Monday, then maybe the thought of some winter sun will warm your cockles.
Travel website FlightNetwork has just released its ranking of the world’s 50 best beaches and the photos alone are enough to have booking an impromptu flight before you remember that you're already in your overdraft and haven't even got through Christmas yet. Oops.
The ranking is based on the opinions of 632 of the world's most expert travel journalists, agents and bloggers, who gave their views on which beaches should be included. FlightNetwork called it, "truly the most up to date and definitive list in the world and will help your readership decide their winter holidays in the coming months," Metro reported.
Destinations in Africa, Europe, North and South America, Asia and "everywhere in between" were ranked on five criteria, including their remoteness, average annual temperature, their untouched beauty, annual days of sunshine and the quality of their sand and water.
The US has the greatest number of beaches on the list on the top 50 ranking, with six, but only one is on the mainland – the rest are in Hawaii, Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. Here are the top 10 beaches in the world, according to travel experts.
10. Trunk Bay, US Virgin Islands
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 7/10; Sand and water quality: 10/10; Annual days of sunshine: 140 Average annual temp.: 27C
9. Hidden Beach, Mexico
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 10/10; Sand and water quality: 8/10; Annual days of sunshine: 299; Average annual temp.: 25C
8. Hyams Beach, Australia
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 8/10; Sand and water quality: 9/10; Annual days of sunshine: 251; Average annual temp.: 17C
7. Playa Paraiso, Mexico
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 9/10; Remoteness: 8/10; Sand and water quality: 10/10; Annual days of sunshine: 290; Average annual temp.: 20C
6. Baia Dos Porcos, Brazil
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 10/10; Sand and water quality: 9/10; Annual days of sunshine: 258; Average annual temp.: 27C
5. Navagio Beach, Greece
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 8/10; Sand and water quality: 8/10; Annual days of sunshine: 275; Average annual temp.: 19C
4. Pink Sands Beach, Bahamas
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 8/10; Remoteness: 8/10; Sand and water quality: 10/10; Annual days of sunshine: 223; Average annual temp.: 28C
3. Anse Lazio, Seychelles
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 7/10; Sand and water quality: 9/10; Annual days of sunshine: 226; Average annual temp.: 29C
2. Whitehaven Beach, Australia
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 10/10; Sand and water quality: 10/10; Annual days of sunshine: 292; Average annual temp.: 27C
1. Grace Bay (Turks and Caicos)
Photo Courtesy of www.flightnetwork.com.
Sheer untouched beauty: 10/10; Remoteness: 8/10; Sand and water quality: 10/10; Annual days of sunshine: 319; Average annual temp.: 29C
Female suicide rates in 2015 increased in the UK by 3.8% and 2% in England according to a 2017 report from the Samaritans. Although that report did not cite a specific cause for this alarming rise, other studies have pointed to social media and smartphone use, where cyberbullying has resulted in the creation of a new term: cyberbullicide.
At their core, social networking sites were created to connect people with friends and family. That network also means that platforms can potentially be a powerful tool for counteracting cyberbullying or providing support for a person at risk.
Today, Facebook announced a few new efforts to proactively detect suicidal posts and, hopefully, get people help faster.
First, Facebook is expanding its use of artificial intelligence to identify posts and live streams that may include suicidal thoughts. The AI technology, which the company first tried using as a suicide prevention tool in March, is able to parse videos and text more quickly than someone can report something. It picks up on phrases such as "are you ok?" and "can I help?" that can signal someone may be at risk. This AI is also being used to prioritise which posts may be more at risk than others.
After the AI finds something, a member of the global Community Operations team will take a look. This is another area Facebook is improving upon: Increasing the number of trained reviewers, and introducing automated tools for reaching out to first responders who can get in touch and provide help on the ground.
"Every minute counts when you do this kind of work," Guy Rosen, Facebook's vice president of product management told Refinery29. "This is really about working fast so we can get people help in real-time." According to Rosen, in the last month, proactive detection has resulted in 100 wellness, or on-the-ground, checks.
These resources are in addition to the reporting tools already available: If you're concerned by a friend's post, click the "report" link, select the appropriate issue, and tap "send." From there, a reviewer will take a look. Your report is confidential, though you'll also see additional information about how to reach out and help someone yourself.
Facebook isn't the only tech company seeking new ways to provide help. Earlier this year, Instagram launched its #HereForYou campaign to create a community for those affected by mental illness. Crisis Text Line, meanwhile, offers immediate assistance via the most accessible means for anyone with a smartphone: A text.
These tools are by no means a fix for the issues that have arisen in tandem with the expansion and proliferation of social media, but it is an additional resource on the platforms that very well could be impacting young people's health.
If you are thinking about suicide, please contact Samaritans on 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.
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In Netflix's Godless, a six-part miniseries that premiered November 23, Callie Dunn (Tess Frazer) is one of maybe 50 women who live in La Belle, a town almost entirely populated by women. The circumstances are tragic — the men of the town died in a mining accident, leaving the wives to operate the town all on their own. Callie is the resident school teacher, and a nascent love interest for Mary Agnes (Merritt Wever). She's also the richest woman in town because she used to be a sex worker.
"I'd always been a whore," she tells J.J. Valentine (Christopher Fitzgerald), a prospector who's interested in La Belle's mines. After the accident, though, her place of work closed. Lack of men will do that to brothel.
The sex worker is a stand-by in westerns. Normally, she's an accessory to the protagonists, who are usually men. And what are all those cowboys to do with that raw manly power, besides use it to shoot up the local town? True to form, Godless gives us a sex worker, but she's not an accessory. She's retired, and, financially speaking, she's the most powerful woman in the narrative, which makes sense. In the lawless west (the show takes place in Colorado), there's not much a woman could do to earn her own money. Even Mary Agnes, the widow of the town's late mayor, is at a loss for funds. But Callie is sitting pretty on almost $20,000 (almost half a million in today's dollars). In Godless, the sex worker is just as powerful as J.J. Valentine. It's a sweet script-flip for the genre — Callie might have been a victim of circumstance at some point, but when the show's timeline begins, she's an agent.
When Callie Dunne is first introduced in the show, she's straightforward and aloof. Where the rest of the townswomen seem anxious, Callie is cool. See: Her response to J.J. Valentine's inquiry about her line of work. Had she always wanted to be a schoolteacher? Nah, she was a sex worker for most of her life. Now, she's a school teacher. What about it?
The show positions Mary Agnes as the obvious leader of La Belle. For starters, she's the only woman who wears pants. She's much more surly than the rest of the women characters — like Michelle Dockery's Alice Fletcher, Mary Agnes is doing everything she can to survive.
But she's still not as powerful as Callie. Because, money.
"Let me take care of you," Callie begs Mary Agnes in the third episode. She reveals her impressive savings and offers to run away with Mary Agnes. When Mary Agnes looks surprised, Callie responds, "Don't you know? Whores are always the richest people in town."
Mary Agnes might have the political power, but Callie's got the financial prowess. And, so long as capitalism prevails, money wins! When the dust clears in Godless, you want to be on Callie Dunn's covered wagon.
Later, Callie drives the same point home with Alice Fletcher, who comes by the school looking for a primer. She tells Alice that as a sex worker, she made $200 a month. And, she's bankrolling half of the businesses in town, all of which lost of a lot of patronage with the accident. An important plot point involves Alice Fletcher selling 50 horses to the women of La Belle for $4,300; it's Callie's money that makes this exchange possible.
Callie's continuous talk about the value of sex work — "There's more words for 'whore' than there are for 'doctor' and 'lawyer,'" she tells Alice — can come across as a defence at times. She's aware of the stigma she has to surmount. So, she talks up the pros of her former profession. The other characters always look blandly surprised at the news of Callie's money. In this world, there's not a lot that can surprise a person.
Callie is one among a lot of three-dimensional sex worker characters that appeared on television in the past two years. Between The Deuce, The Girlfriend Experience, and Westworld, sex workers have enjoyed rich, textured portrayals that have been pretty rare as of yet. These shows have allowed women to take back their stories. The Deuce 's Eileen (Maggie Gyllenhaal) owns her narrative by getting behind the camera to make her own pornography. Maeve (Thandie Newton) on Westworld literally stabs her way out of her "loop," and Christine (Riley Keough) uses sex work to pay her way through law school. Sex work is increasingly a way for women to be autonomous, at least on television.
Godless just happens to be the show that's most explicit about the connection between sex work and power. In a world where women have almost no power — welcome to Colorado, there are no laws — sex work is one of the few avenues to stability. Thanks to her past endeavour, Callie Dunn doesn't need a man; that's something she makes very clear throughout the series. She just needs Mary Agnes, a building, and a place to teach kids.
"You were here long before any of us were here," Trump told three Navajo veterans who served as code talkers in World War II. "Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas. But you know what? I like you."
Here's the video: Trump calls Elizabeth Warren 'Pocahontas' while honoring Native American code talkers: "You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas." pic.twitter.com/hjZ5MInDDf
During World Wars I and II, code talkers like the ones who visited the White House today used their native languages to confuse U.S. enemies who attempted to break codes. To make matters even worse, the president made the comments while standing in front of a portrait of President Andrew Jackson — you know, the one who signed the Indian Removal Act in 1830, which forced thousands of Native Americans to leave behind their homes and livelihoods.
The remarks were met with silence from the attendees, according to reporters present at the event. Sen. Warren, whose self-proclaimed heritage has been a point of debate since her 2012 Senate run, responded to the remarks and called the incident "deeply unfortunate."
"This was supposed to be an event to honour heroes, people who put it all on the line for our country," she told MSNBC. "It is deeply unfortunate that the president of the United States cannot even make it through a ceremony honouring these heroes without having to throw out a racial slur."
"Pocahontas was prepubescent girl held hostage & raped by European invaders. Stop mocking her & Native women," Indian Country columnist Ruth Hopkins tweeted in response at the time.
Back in May, Mary Kathryn Nagle, a citizen of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, attorney, and playwright, told MSNBC that Trump should be held accountable for his comments.
“Trump’s inability to discern the difference between Sen. Warren and Pocahontas is no accident,” she said. “His attack on her native identity reflects a dominant American culture that has made every effort to diminish native women to nothing other than a fantastical, oversexualised, Disney character.”
By now, it shouldn't be surprising that President Trump's won't refrain from taking jabs at political opponents, even if it means insulting an entire population. Instead of honouring those who fought for this country, he effectively made the whole event about himself and his insults.
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There is an infidelity gender gap — and women are starting to close it. "Women are cheating more today than they ever have," says Esther Perel, a couples' therapist and author of the book The State of Affairs. In fact, according to research she cites, women in heterosexual relationships are nearly 40% more likely to cheat on their spouses today than they were in 1990. Men are still cheating about 30% more than women, but the numbers don't lie — women are stepping out more than ever.
Even though women are catching up to men in terms of who's cheating on whom, we haven't shaken loose old notions of who is "to blame" in these scenarios. Which is to say: The infidelity gap may be closing, but the blame gap is pretty much set in stone.
"Women are the keepers of a relationship," says Andrea Bonior, PhD, a psychologist and author. "There's the deep-seated belief of women being the caregivers. They should be able to nourish men and keep them happy." The idea is that, in a hetero partnership, the woman is meant to take care of things — be it childcare or keeping the house in order. So if a couple is unhappy, it's presumably because the woman isn't "doing her part" to keep it together.
Perel echoes that sentiment. "Nothing holds the family together today except for the relative happiness of the couple," she says. "You could cheat before, and the family was not threatened by it." Of course, "you" here means men, and she's referring to a time when women relied on their husbands for economic security — and everything else.
That burden of keeping the couple happy fell squarely on the woman's shoulders, even (or especially) when her husband wasn't being faithful. But factors including no-fault divorce laws, and women's rising economic independence mean that now, women aren't as dependent — and yet blame is still placed on them. And that's women in general, not just the scorned wives.
According to researchers at Cardiff Metropolitan University, who asked 21 men and 23 women to review Facebook messages sent during an affair, a woman is more likely to blame the "other woman" in an affair than her cheating husband. "What a man does is [seen as] a direct result of the woman," Perel says. "It's either that one tempted him, or one drove him away."
What a man does is [seen as] a direct result of the woman. It's either that one tempted him, or one drove him away.
This formula is pretty tied to heteronormative expectations: A woman and a man are together, and the man seeks out a woman on the side. That same study from Cardiff Metropolitan University states that when a woman cheats, men blame her, not the man she cheated with. That leaves the woman to weather the storm alone. But when a husband strays, there are two people to blame: the wife and the mistress.
"There is no 'other man,'" Perel says. "There is only 'the other woman.'" There isn't even a word for a male mistress. The closest we've got is "cuckold," meaning the guy who got cheated on, which the alt-right now uses as an insult. To be a "cuck" is to be weak, fragile, and feminine.
And the woman being cheated on? There's no word for that, either. But she's made to feel guilty, because she wasn't giving her husband what he needed to stay. Which, most of the time, means sex.
"If we're talking about cheating in broad terms, men are often cheating for sexual gratification," says Justine Shuey, PhD, a board certified sexologist and sexuality educator. "So people assume that the woman isn't having sex with him, which is making him cheat." There's also the assumption that a woman has "allowed" herself to be less sexually appealing to a man, Dr. Bonoir says. "People will say that since the woman 'let herself go,' she's given her husband a pass to search for a more appealing sex partner," she says.
Women's motivations for cheating tend to be emotionally driven, still speaking in broad strokes. In situations when they are tasked with the upkeep of the relationship, their own emotional well-being is also expected to fall in their own hands — not their partner's. And that's what they may go out looking for.
No matter the gender, whenever a person strays outside the boundaries of their relationship, that behaviour is their own choice and responsibility. And people in all kinds of relationships step out for all kinds of reasons. But as men and women increasingly occupy both sides of the scandal, it's time to recognise blame goes both ways, too — regardless of what traditional gender roles dictate.
"Women have traditionally been seen as monogamous, and the ones who value commitment," Perel says. "But the idea of 'men being men' doesn't fly anymore. It's time to change these dynamics."
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In October, The New York Times reported that in a wave of "hysterical homophobia," Egyptian authorities had begun targeting members of the LGBTQ+ community — specifically gay men – for arrest. The outlet noted that the arrests began after concertgoers waved rainbow flags at a Mashrou' Leila show, a Lebanese indie band whose lead singer is gay, according to CNN. Approximately 65 people were arrested.
According to the International Business Times, at least 13 men have been given prison sentences. Homosexuality isn't illegal in Egypt so authorities in the conservative country instead arrest gay people for crimes such as debauchery, immorality, and blasphemy.
Amnesty International spoke to the IB Times about the treatment these individuals were subjected to while in police custody: "In a matter of days the Egyptian security forces have rounded up dozens of people and carried out five anal examinations signalling a sharp escalation in the authorities' efforts to persecute and intimidate members of the LGBTI community following the rainbow flag incident," the North Africa Campaigns Director at Amnesty, Najia Bounaim, told the outlet.
Mohamed Ahmed, Amnesty International's Egypt researcher, said that authorities are "track[ing] people down" by looking at their dating apps.
Meanwhile, Egypt MP Riyad Abdel Sattar is working on a bill that directly targets the LGBTQ+ community and its allies, as reported by Gay Star News: "Any person engaging in homosexuality in a public or private place should be subjected to punitive action that should be no less than one year and not exceeding three years in jail," the measure reads.
If the bill passes, its ramifications will be far-reaching. In addition to threatening all members of the LGBTQ+ community, other people could be sentenced to prison time simply for holding a rainbow flag in public. Additionally, journalists who write about gay issues and events would do so at risk of imprisonment, according to Gay Star News.
As evidenced by the wave of arrests and Sattar's proposed legislation, Egypt's LGBTQ+ community and its allies are under vicious attack. For more information and to show your support for the community, visit Amnesty International's Egypt page.
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I can't find an exact or even a semi-accurate estimate of the number of hairs a human being has on their body. Taking an average from endless online sources, it would seem that we have at least five million hair follicles on our bodies; put another way, a lot less than a chimpanzee, our nearest and dearest relative, but a lot more than a Mexican hairless dog. We are hairy beings, male, female, cis or trans. There is no escape from the hair's growth although we can try to control, tame or eradicate it with degrees of success, and a whole lot of bodily shaming and feelings of unattractiveness.
If you flick through the Wikipedia page on 'facial hair growth' you are led to believe that men are mainly hairy and that only some women are a little bit hairy. Men develop facial hair as a secondary sex characteristic, while women are also capable of developing facial hair but often after the menopause, and typically far less than men. It goes on to say that men's facial hair is celebrated and women's stigmatised. As an older trans woman I'd quite like a new page dedicated to trying to fit me somewhere onto this spectrum of expectation, and apparent disorder.
I transitioned in my 30s, long after the celebrated beard growth had manifested, so I then had to endure several years of utter pain, discomfort and cost of hair removal that extended from my chin to the very margins of my nipples. Facial hair removal such as electrolysis is approximately £1 a minute. Each hair needs zapping around 10-20 times; in a 30-minute session, the area above your lip will get around a third of its stubbly hairs cleared. As a rough calculation, to be smoothly kissable potentially runs into thousands of pounds. I worked for many years in my 30s just to pay for the mortgage and hair removal. No spare money for holidays, expensive creams, twinkly jewels or M&S pudding splurges – just money for zapping and the cooling relief of a cheap aloe vera cream. I recommend keeping the cream in the freezer.
Hair removal for trans women isn't just vanity or feeling gender-stigmatised, it's an issue of personal safety; having a five-o'clock shadow or long white spiky hairs glinting in the sunlight signals to the world that your body is in flux.
A five-o'clock shadow covered in foundation is a daily reality for many trans women early in their wonderfully liberating process. For many others, the exorbitant costs of hair removal can mean a lifetime's ongoing battle between new hair growth and a blanket of foundation. I assumed I'd zapped every hair on my face in my 30s and 40s but the older I get, the more stubble appears every morning, like ears of corn waiting to be harvested. It's often only when I'm out that I run my fingers over my neck or chin and feel clusters of hair that seem to have appeared on the walk to the station – maybe the fresh air promotes growth?
Most days I accept and can get past it – I'm freelance and seldom have to sit in people-heavy meetings or tension-filled pitches – but occasionally the stubble floors me. I want to curl up in a ball and stay on the train, going backwards and forwards all day long until the dark of night falls and it feels safe to be on the street. I know there is an element of bodily dysphoria here but I also am self-caring enough to know that it comes from a place of feeling vulnerable, not just from vanity. I have often ended up in Boots or Superdrug buying yet another pair of tweezers and a magnifying mirror and finding a secret corner in which to pluck away; occasionally I pluck too hard and end up reddened and marked.
Look at the freedom men have to grow full and luxuriant beards. They call it 'fashionable facial furniture', as we're running into corners to pluck hairs we are told are not feminine.
I'm angry that as trans women we feel we have to endure this misogynistic ritual just to feel safe on the streets. Trans women with hair are not marked out as 'hairy' – we become real targets, often for abuse and violence, because people read us as 'men pretending to be women'. This isn't creating an 'us versus them' dichotomy, as the sexism that demands smooth, hairless women pervades all of our internal voices and I know from conversations with my sister that she has been made to feel that she is 'disgusting' for having hair on her legs. It's bloody cruel to demand that one gender spends their entire lives removing hair while the other gets to celebrate their hair growth. Look at the freedom men have to grow full and luxuriant beards. They call it 'fashionable facial furniture', as we're running into corners to pluck errant hairs which, we are told, are not feminine.
I've always found it cruel that funding for gender realignment only includes a minuscule amount of money (enough for 6-8 sessions) for facial hair removal, although maybe not surprising, seeing as how the whole process is part and parcel of a patriarchal, sexist system. Go figure that vaginal depth is prioritised over female safety on the streets.
Recently my energy levels have been really low, beyond the tiredness that being freelance, over 50 and busy often makes me feel. My clinician has tracked this through exhausting blood tests and Q&A sessions, which feel forensic in detail, to a testosterone deficiency which can occur in post-operative trans women. There is not one simple answer to tackling a testosterone deficiency in trans females; issues can occur around hirsutism, the idea of which sends me into a spiral in which I have to juggle my actual health concerns with the dysphoric feelings of being beset with beard growth. It feels like I need to have a grown-up analysis of my hormone levels and hormone types but I'm fearful that might result in the sort of unwanted hair growth that society describes as stigmatising and abnormal.
I sometimes wonder what it would be like just to let go of that fear. It's not irrational, it's a very real fear, rooted in deep-seated notions of what we as women – all women – can and cannot be, of how we should present to the world and what we become if we fall below those standards. The furore caused if a woman lifts her arms and reveals underarm hair, the apparent shock on teenage boys' faces when, having gorged on online porn, they realise that vaginal smoothness is a job and that women (surprise, surprise) grow hair all over.
Surely, 50 years on from the symbolic burning of bras, we can be honest about hair growth and be kinder to us women who currently shave, pluck, wax, zap and dye to uphold the cruel notion that we are smooth and that those who aren't belong in the modern day equivalent of those circus shows where a woman with a beard was a target for public ridicule. What most men don't realise, I think, is the constant pressure this puts on so many women. If they did, I suspect that at least a few wouldn't ask: 'Are you smooth down there?'
From Rome to Peaky Blinders, the 21st century has blessed our Netflix accounts with a smorgasboard of period dramas praised for their attention to historical detail. But somewhere between Elizabeth I's apparently on-fleek eyebrows and multiple 18th-century sex workers with Brazilians, the details get a little hazy.
While it's true that women (and men) have been shaving, waxing, sugaring and tweezing on and off since time immemorial, practices and aesthetics have varied wildly from generation to generation and across the globe. Read on to discover the weird and wonderful things our ancestors got up to when it came to their hair...
Cropped Cavewomen
Though in 2017 it’s fair to say that fuzz is a feminist issue, hair removal began with equality between the sexes. Archaeological evidence suggests that both female and male early humans shaved their head and facial hair to avoid frostbite. This was pre-history and well before the invention of the wax strip, though, so the main hair-removal method was a razor made from clam shells, teeth and sharp flints. And we thought dry shaving was bad.
Pharaohs' Facial Hair
Ancient Egyptians loved hair removal and we still use some of their methods today, including sugaring and waxing. Fortunately we've ditched the very much more unpleasant-sounding methods, including arsenic and quicklime.
History doesn't record every body hair trend of this time but we know royal ladies at least were into hair removal, as razors were found in Queen Hetepheres' tomb. But it wasn't all smooth sailing; female pharaoh Khentkawes I wore a false beard as part of her royal regalia.
Ancient Greek Unibrows
The hair removal continued in Europe, where Ancient Greek women were expected to have no pubic hair, as it was seen as 'uncivilised ' to appear in the public baths with a full bush. Above the waist, though, hair was definitely in – including unibrows. Women would darken their brows and fill in any space between them not only with dye but also "dyed goat's hair...attached with tree resin ". On fleek indeed.
Medieval Foreheads
By the Middle Ages, attitudes towards all body hair had done a complete turnaround. The edicts of the Catholic Church meant women were supposed to grow out their hair but not let any of it show in public, with some even plucking out their eyelashes to be more godly. By the 14th century this had become a fashion trend, with women shaving off their eyebrows and repainting them higher up, to make their face appear longer and more beautiful.
When Elizabeth I came to power in 1533, she dominated the brow game in England. Once she began dyeing her hair and brows strawberry blonde, women who wanted to be in her good books would do the same. Some even used rhubarb juice mixed with sulphuric acid on their eyebrows and eyelashes. Ouch.
For those not in the know, a merkin is a wig placed on the vagina to replace natural pubic hair that's been removed. Sex workers in particular were likely to do this as as they didn’t want to catch pubic lice (who can blame them) but still wanted to please their male clients. Johns of the time apparently preferred a full bush (and who can blame them for that, either).
Famous art critic John Ruskin fainted on his wedding night in 1848 – allegedly at the sight of his new wife’s pubic hair – thus never consummating the marriage. Although this rumour is much disputed, it can't be ruled out, and the silence around female body hair probably did lead to some extremely surprised Victorian virgins.
20th-Century Baldness Begins
The turn of the 20th century brought in a new age of hair removal. The first women's branded razor, the Milady Décolleté, hit the open market and in 1915 Harper's Bazaar ran an advert for "the removal of objectionable hair ", warning would-be flappers that "modern dancing" could lead them to flash too much underarm hair.
By the time WWII started, women were shaving regularly as well as plucking their eyebrows to get those perfect '30s pencil-thin arches. The shortage of nylon during the war, combined with the shorter skirt fashions, even led ladies to shave their legs and paint on a fake seam to recreate that stockinged leg look.
Mid-Century Mixed Messages
The 1960s were when things started to get pretty confused. The first wax strips hit the market and Raquel Welch's portrayal of a gleaming cavewoman in a deerskin bikini sent many women running to remove hair from almost everywhere. The fuzz-free swimsuit look continued until the 1970s, when the first safe electrolysis became available and some women were able to be hairless almost everywhere, from their face to their bikini line.
But the '60s and '70s was also the time of free love and a full bush – in 1972, The Joy of Sex brought illustrations of a distinctly unshaved woman's genitalia into almost every home.
A Bald Brave New World?
The close of the 20th century was a chilly time for body hair. Fashion trends like '80s Daisy Dukes and '90s micro minis meant there was no room for body hair, anywhere. In the 21st century, Brazilian waxes hit the high street and the small screen; who can forget Carrie's wax on SATC or Amy Child famously introducing the nation to the 'vajazzle' on TOWIE?
It wasn't just our hair down there that we started to invest in; the UK brow industry was valued at £20 million in 2011, growing by £13.5 million in just five years. But the future of body hair might not be all about removal; Amber Rose's call to #bringbackthebush has inspired a whole Instagram movement whose followers can now invest in luxury pubic hair products as well. Big brows are back and bolder than ever, and icons like Harnaam Kaur are breaking down gender stereotypes every day.
Perhaps the most game-changing body hair trend of 2018 won't be how much fuzz women have, but the freedom to grow whatever the hell we want, wherever we want.
If your go-to source for creative beauty inspiration is Instagram, you've probably scrolled through Katie Jane Hughes' profile. The Southport-born, New York-based makeup artist posts her daily makeup looks, using Instagram Stories to offer tips, tricks and advice on how to wear her artistic creations IRL. If you don't follow her (in which case, take a moment to do so now), you'll have seen her work in publications such as Elle, Harper's Bazaar and Glamour, or in larger-than-life campaigns for Alice Temperley, Net-A-Porter and Harrods. A champion of makeup that enhances real, natural skin – embracing pores, freckles and shine – Hughes puts the playfulness and fun back into makeup experimentation. Here, we ask her about the products that never leave her makeup bag, the luxury skincare she loves, and how she first got into the industry.
What first inspired you to pursue beauty as a profession, not just a passion? My mum was a singer and she would always put on this bright red Revlon lipstick and loads of the Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara. Because I was watching my mum glam up, I got really good at it. I wasn’t one of the popular kids at school, I was a bit of a geek, and I used makeup to express myself. I wasn’t particularly bold with it at the time, but I definitely used it as a confidence-builder in my teens. My first ever job in makeup was on an Estée Lauder counter in Boots in my hometown of Southport. I was 18 and I hated it because it was in a small town, but I used to put eyeshadow on with my fingertips, just on myself, and then somebody would say, ‘Oh that’s cool’ and then buy it. That’s what made it fun, I got a buzz from it.
I knew I wanted to be a makeup artist at the age of 22, so I looked into makeup school and none of them worked for me because it was all prosthetics, and the people that I followed – such as Mary Greenwell and Pat McGrath – I didn’t really see their path, I just saw that they were in fashion. So I got my foot in the door that way, and assisted in London while working in Space NK.
How do you think the industry has changed since you first started? I think it’s changed a lot. I’m from a small town, we’re a close family and I’m definitely a talkative and energetic person, and I noticed very quickly that that wasn’t going to fly in the industry at the time. I remember meeting a huge makeup artist when I was working in Space NK. I said to her that I loved her work, and she asked me if I was an artist and I said I was aspiring to be. She said to email her agent with the possibility of assisting her. I did, and after back and forth questions they asked, ‘By the way, do you have YouTube or Instagram?’ I said yes, and she said, 'No, wrong answer.' So this is at a point where nobody knew what was going on with social media. At the beginning, it was very self-promoting and now it’s more of a community. It’s a place where people can go to learn, so it’s totally different. And even now there is that fine line between whether I should show a job that I’m on or not. If I’m on a shoot with a prestigious fashion caddy, with a lot of crew that I’ve known a long time and respect, I would not put it on my Instagram. Not because I don’t want to, but some of them just wouldn’t get it and they’d think, ‘Why is she Instagramming? She’s on set.’
If you had just five minutes to get ready, what would you do/use? Keeping it simple, I could give my cheeks and lips some colour with Glossier Cloud Paint, have big, spiky lashes with MAC Upward Lash Mascara and a better complexion with Glossier Stretch Concealer. Then, I would use my Ardell Stroke A Brow Feathering Pen – I wouldn’t go out the house without my eyebrows!
Favourite foundation and why? It would probably be SURRATT Surreal Skin Foundation Wand because it’s a creamy formula that makes the skin really soft and pretty. It’s somewhere between a tinted moisturiser and a full coverage foundation. It makes everything more perfect, but it doesn’t look like you're wearing anything at the same time. It comes in a stick to use it on the go, and I just set it with some powder.
What’s the one product you reach for to take you from day to night? If I was going to do an eye, I would use Bodyography's Glitter Pigment in Caviar, because it’s a really pretty brown colour that looks subtle. You can get in London at Sally’s. You apply it with your finger and just buff in with the end of a brush, but the fallout is really minimal and you can just get a cotton bud to clean it up. If I was going to do a lip? I would put on NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Mysterious Red and take a little bit with my ring finger and dab it on the cheek.
Can you remember the first beauty product you bought in your teens? Probably some cheap eyeliner from a market, or something shimmery from Rimmel.
What’s the one product that you have repurchased the most over the years? Professionally and in my kit, I would say Bioderma, but that’s obvious. The other one would probably be Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage Concealer. It’s one of those concealers you can do everything with because it's very malleable. If somebody’s got a pimple, it’ll get rid of it, if someone’s got interesting skin texture, I would put a layer of Weleda's Skin Food underneath it and buff the concealer over the top. It's like the Estée Lauder Double Wear, which I've been talking about recently because it’s quite thick and opaque. If you can only take a few things with you, I believe they should all be dense, opaque versions, because you can always shed them down with a cream.
Personally, I think it’s the Lip Definer Pencil from Chantecaille called Nuance and it’s the prettiest, perfect nude that’s not too brown, not too peach, just a perfect blend. When I don’t know what lip to wear, especially if I’ve done a lot with my eye, that one goes with everything.
What’s the most expensive, luxury beauty product you own? I think it might be La Prairie's Skin Caviar Absolute Filler or La Mer Moisturising Cream. Everything from them definitely feels a certain way on the skin, it’s smoothing and pore-filling and I love that. I slept in La Mer for a couple of nights and my skin felt amazing when I woke up. It looked more perfected and even in tone, almost like I had a good foundation on.
What’s your most trusty high street makeup product? I think it’s any foundation by Bourjois. They look really expensive on the skin, they’re good to the skin, and they're really easy to use, they're not dry and chalky. The only downside is the shade range is very limited.
Can you remember your biggest beauty faux pas? Definitely over-plucking my eyebrows when I was younger – there's no going back. I really wish my mum had hidden the tweezers. I vividly remember me and my friend Tamsin, as kids, taking a pair of tweezers and pulling out five or six hairs a time. We were absolutely murdering our eyebrows and I can’t believe no one ever stopped us from doing it.
On my sister’s wedding day – she probably wanted to kill me, I’m sure – I had black eyeliner pencil on my lips with a nude lipstick on the inside. She was like, ‘Get those witch lips off’ and I was like, ‘No they look amazing’.
Favourite mascara and why? MAC's Upward Lash because it looks like Twiggy lashes in a bottle. It gives you that editorially spiky lash. I’m wearing it in 95% of my posts on Instagram, it’s my favourite mascara.
Favourite lip product? Right now I’m well and truly obsessed with NARS Powermatte Lip Pigment, I’ve been using them almost every day, they’re so good. I just wish they had a few more neutrals.
Which is the one, transformative beauty product that makes you feel your best? This is going to sound so counteractive to what I say on social media, but I would say foundation, because it changes how everything looks and feels. You always need a bit of complexion, whether it’s a tiny bit around the eye or a tiny bit around the nose. I could spend an hour on an amazing eye, but if I don’t put anything around the eye, even just to neutralise a bit of pink, it’s not going to have the same effect. Even on a day where you don’t want to wear colour, and you don’t want to wear eyeshadow or lipstick, a little bit of foundation can really make you feel better. And it’s not necessarily that you look better, but you look more polished; it’s like ironing a shirt.
What's your favourite beauty look for AW17? Everyone needs to try a glossy eye this holiday, whether it’s in the form of a shimmery thing that looks glossy, like the Bodyography Glitter Pigment, or whether it be an actual eye gloss, like the Kevyn Aucoin one. Also, glitter is always welcome on the holidays, it’s the perfect time to try it. Stila Magnificent Metals Glitter & Glow Liquid Eye Shadows are really cool. I'd also say Studio 54 is coming back, with a purple eye and red lip – think of Adwoa on the cover of British Vogue.
Who are your beauty icons? Mary Greenwell, she just gets it. I’m not a creative painter, but people like her are. A face that I love, and would love to paint, is Sofia Boutella. She was a dancer in a Madonna music video, and she is just the most beautiful and cool-looking. I love those faces that look unusual, with or without makeup.
Global fashion search platform Lyst has released its Year In Fashion 2017 Report, charting and analysing the most sought-after trends, brands and items of the year. Tracking more than 100 million searches by 80 million shoppers in 120 countries, Lyst's data reveals exactly what everyone wanted to wear in 2017.
The widest-reaching trends of the year begin with Gucci as the world's most-wanted fashion house. Everyone fell for the Midas touch of Alessandro Michele, who has reaffirmed his signature maximal aesthetic for the brand season after season, leaving us all clamouring for clashing prints, loud florals, animal motifs and, of course, green and red stripes.
In fact, Gucci's logo T-shirt was the most searched-for product in June 2017, reflecting the wider trend of the return of brand logos. The other most-desired pieces were from Balenciaga, Gucci, Loewe and Saint Laurent, while retro sports brands like Champion, Fila and Kappa also enjoyed a renaissance.
The fourth most-coveted brand (after Gucci, Forvever 21 and Balenciaga) was Demna Gvasalia's Vetements. The brand's ripped-and-renewed, reworked and recycled denim (which spawned thousands of stepped-hem jeans on the high street) could explain July's peak in searches for the word 'deconstructed'. Of course, July also means sunshine and getaways, which is why the hunt for Le Specs x Adam Selman's The Last Lolita sunglasses was most prominent that month.
With Maria Grazia Chiuri's debut at Dior came the ubiquitous We Should All Be Feminists T-shirt, which in turn led fashion fans to embrace their political side. With a 105% increase in searches for 'woke fashion', customers used their clothes to express themselves this year.
As for accessories? Tassel earrings were trending all year long, with a pair by Oscar de la Renta proving the most popular. In at number five came 'artsy earrings', most likely inspired by J.W.Anderson 's abstract face earrings and Anissa Kermiche 's pieces. Anderson's influence reached handbags, too, with his Pierce bag coming in at second place for the most searched-for arm candy.
Lyst's data shows a search for denim every two seconds in 2017, proving that despite the surge in suits this year, we remain loyal to our trusty blues. While April's top hit was Levi's Wedgie jeans, the most searched-for styles were 'Mom', straight leg, frayed hem, embroidered and kick flare.
Whether it was Gucci's influence, a backlash against the minimalism of the past several years, or simply that we needed a little pick-me-up, we went wild for colour in 2017. Red, of course, came in at number one, while pink – from millennial to fuchsia via rose and bubblegum – followed close behind. Prints dominated summer, with gingham garnering 8,000 searches per day in April, and palm prints ensuring our wardrobes were tropical.
Lyst's prediction for December's must-have item? Gucci's Marmont bag. Coming in rounded or more square shapes, from mini to holdall size, the top-handled bag features a chain strap and grooved pattern across the leather. The classic black will no doubt be a sell-out, but we love the pillarbox red and striped canvas strap number. Just in time for Christmas...
Here are the products and brands that Lyst found most popular in 2017:
Most Searched Brands
1. Gucci 2. Forever21 3. Balenciaga 4. Vetements 5. Free People 6. Saint Laurent 7. Nike 8. Topshop 9. Michael Kors 10. Givenchy
Most Searched Products
January: Champion Sweatshirt February: Forever21 Plaid Skirt March: Puma Fenty Bow Sneakers April: Levi’s Wedgie Jeans May: Needle & Thread Dragonfly Maxi Dress June: Gucci Logo T-Shirt July: Le Specs x Adam Selman The Last Lolita Sunglasses August: Versace Medusa Slides September: Balenciaga Speed Sneakers October: Topshop Shearling Biker Jacket November: Balenciaga Swing Puffer Jacket December: *Prediction*: Gucci Marmont Bag
Do we have another knock-off on our hands? The model whose Instagram Stories attract the most attention has all eyes on her once again, and this time it's not because she’s “freeing the nipple.” Emily Ratajkowski is being accused of copying two swimsuit designs of her just-launched Inamorata swimwear collection.
A post shared by Lisa Marie Fernandez (@lisamariefernandez) on
According to designer Lisa Marie Fernandez, the model copied her Triple Poppy maillot and her off-the-shoulder Leandra bikini top, now rechristened as a “Cardiff” swimsuit “Vulcan” top, respectively. Fernandez sent a cease-and-desist letter to the model, saying that she’s had those styles on offer for the past three years. According to Business of Fashion, in the United States, you can’t copyright protect “physically functional items, including clothing,” but because Ratajkowski’s line ships internationally, Fernandez was able to invoke two European Union Community Design Registration certificates that she registered in May 2015, which grant her a monopoly on the designs in the EU until 2020.
In an official statement, the brand says “Lisa Marie Fernandez will continue to seek legal action against other brands that continue to blatantly plagiarize her registered and known designs. It is factually inaccurate for Ms. Ratajkowski to claim these designs as her own. Ms. Fernandez believes that it is the responsibility of all brands to protect their original designs.”
While the model hasn’t commented publicly on the allegations, last week on Instagram, Ratajkowski’s swimwear line shared a vintage photo of a model in a leopard print bathing suit, writing “Pinterested this photo over 2 years ago and made a sample of it over a year ago. We all tap into vintage inspirations,” speaking to her design process.
We’ve reached out to Emily Ratajkowski and will update this post if/when we hear back.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
This is a very big deal. Not just because the Saoirse Ronan-starring film is a movie made by a woman filmmaker, or because its central character is a 17-year-old girl:Lady Bird 's success is crucial to toppling the notion that women-led movies have to be Massive Hollywood Blockbusters in order to receive the same acclaim as their male-starring counterparts.
Like most people on the planet, I enjoyed Wonder Woman. I adored Gal Gadot's performance as the unapologetically kind, yet strong-willed and fierce Diana Prince. The movie, which was directed by Patty Jenkins, was no doubt "good for women" in Hollywood. It broke box-office records, was far better reviewed than, err, say, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and, importantly, did not objectify the very woman whose story it was telling.
But here's the thing: We all know that a Wonder Woman film is a no-brainer idea. She's one of the most famous superheroines of all time, and one of the most beloved. Wonder Woman 's commercial and critical success is impressive, for sure, but it's not entirely surprising.
As for "Lady Bird," a.k.a. Christine, who Ronan portrays in Gerwig's film? She's not a superhero. She doesn't have magical powers. She's not even undeniably likeable, a la Diana Prince.
That's why the critical success of Lady Bird — and, just as importantly, its commercial success — is huge for women. It's more concrete proof that, no, women don't need to be near-perfect creatures with the most exciting life ever to make great film subjects.
Honestly, the fact that Lady Bird was even made and seen by mass audiences is downright shocking. It's not the kind of movie that Hollywood thinks should do well. It's not based on a comic book character like Wonder Woman; it's not action-packed and sleek like Atomic Blonde. It's not even adapted from a best-selling novel, like Gone Girl or Girl On the Train.
It's already hard to make original movies like Lady Bird, and it's even harder to make them with women as the leads. Just look at the stats: According to a 2017 report from the BBC, the number of women in films has only gone up 2% since 1913.
With such a limited number of opportunities for women, maybe it's time we expand everywhere a woman's place is on the big screen. After all, Lady Bird isn't the only example that shows audiences want more original movies starring women: The comedy Girls Trip also absolutely crushed it at the box office, despite not being attached to any existing property.
Women's stories can be an exciting thing, all on their own. Thanks, Lady Bird, for reminding us.
In a new post, the woman who helmed Middle of Nowhere (a 2012 film in which DuVernay also explored the consequences of our current prison system) shared advice she once sent via email to a rising filmmaker. And who knew that having a clean pair of socks on set would be so vital to one's filmmaking career?
"Just came across an email I sent to a new filmmaker last year who sought advice on shooting her first feature," wrote DuVernay. "Maybe it can be helpful to someone else out there. xo"
The advice includes tips on how to keep a set running smoothly:
"Know your crew members by name. They are the lifeblood of the film."
"Never tell an actor it was good if it wasn't."
"Laugh and keep a warm atmosphere. We're making movies not splitting the atom."
DuVernay also adds some tips for self-care while on set. That includes making sure one "hydrate[s] throughout the day." However, my personal favourite DuVernay life hack is this one:
"Change your socks at lunch, makes you feel like a new woman."
You can read the rest of her killer advice in the below tweet:
Just came across an email I sent to a new filmmaker last year who sought advice on shooting her first feature. Maybe it can be helpful to someone else out there. xo pic.twitter.com/e64y1jDaLl
Obviously, the most important stuff on this list has to do with making sure everyone is well-respected on set, happy, and working towards the same goal. After all, if every person working in Hollywood followed her advice to the letter, every set would be as cool as AWrinkle In Time 's.
With her post-lunch fresh socks, DuVernay is challenging Hollywood to be just a little bit better.
